Ads of Love
by Lady Luna Hale
Summary: The fantastic advertisements of the Bachelors and Bachelorettes of Hogwarts. They are searching for love and we want to help them find it. Read our ads and see if they could be your soul mate.
1. Severus Snape

**Hello my loving readers. This series is brand new. It's called Ads of Love and it's basically ads that would be in newpapers or magazines that would be advertising dates for the characters of Harry Potter.**

**I'm posting this for my own amusement, but if you all like it, then I will gladly post more. I already have two more ready to post. I will also take suggestions or you can write your own ad and I will post and credit you.**

**Also, if you wanted to know, all these ads would be featured in The Quibbler.**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, Hermione would not have been so close-minded, Ron would not have been a jealous idiot, and Molly and Ginny would have jumped in the Black Lake.<strong>

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><p><em><strong>Snape Wants to Snap You Up<strong>_

If you love snarky potion masters, then you are reading the right ad for you. Severus Snape, 39, is the man of your dreams. From his midnight black hair silky with grease from potion fumes; black souless eyes so cold that it will be easy for Snape to warm you up with his velvet bat cape that he calls a robe; crooked non-white teeth; and horribly disfigured face with an unfortunate beak-like nose, you'll feel like he was your soul-mate. His likes include married red-headed muggleborn named after flowers and playing pet to a noseless half-snake, half-skeleton master.

**Warning: May cause irritation and desire to commit homicide.**


	2. Albus Dumbledore

**That's right, an update of this series. Now just so you know, this one may give you nightmares and turn you off sex forever haha. Also, if you read it, you'll notice that there's some hints of A Very Potter Musical.**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, the books would be about Fred and George Weasley.<strong>

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><p><strong>Headmaster looking for a Master<strong>

Headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore is searching for love. This over-excentric, million year old Gandalf look-alike wants someone to dominate him so that he knows what it's like to be manipulated. Although giving up his control is the last thing he wants to do, he believes that his wannabe Merlin-esque powers can keep his Master from hurting him except for when he wants. With his white 30 foot long beard, his twinkling blue eyes that make him look like a meth head, and his very outrageous, unmanly colorful robes, this Grindelwald ex-lover is quite the catch. To contact, grab a broom and ride on to Hogwarts.

**Comes included with a life-time supply of lemon drops and a poster of Zefron (Zac Efron)**.

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><p><strong>So I'll update tomorrow and that one will be about Remus Lupin.<strong>


	3. Remus Lupin

**Alright! Another update! This one I went a little more kind on because I am a Remus fan...although he annoys me a little sometimes. So go read, review, and relax.**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I would not be in school right now.<strong>

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><p><strong>On the Prowl For Love<strong>

Do you want someone who has a little kink? Want a man with a lot of hair? Remus Lupin is the man for you. This Hogwarts Graduated Werewolf is ruggedly handsome with his eyes that switch from blue to amber, his straw colored hair, and carefully trimmed claws. Not only that, but he has two personalities. Whether you want a pushover bookworm know-it-all or an aggressive flesh-eating machine, Remus John Lupin has it all. His dislikes include crystal balls, Fenrir Greyback, and a rat named Scabbers. His likes include chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate. He is poor, can not hold a job, and during the full moon will try to kill you if he's not tied up properly. What more could you want?

**Ad payed for by The Bestiality Community, The Boy Who Lived, and Notorious Mass Murderer; Sirius Black.**

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><p><strong>The next one up will be about Draco Malfoy.<strong>


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